Phone Quote Greatest Hits

You know how every now and then you open your mouth to speak and something totally ridiculous (embarrassing/inappropriate/stupid) flies out?  I have a file of those moments.  Here are some of my favorites (spoken by others, of course):

Boss: “They can’t pay us this year, but they’re willing to do other things”

Staff: (raised eyebrows)


Joe: “I’m a walking innuendo”

Matt: “Followed by an awkward pause”


Andrea: “My sister and I always frosted the cookies, and there were a few standard anomalies – one blue Christmas tree and one yellow snowman.”


Matt (in frustration, pushing buttons): “That’s it!  I want a rotary cell phone, desk top model.”


Jen: “Apparently he (the director) dumped her like two days ago, so this is probably the worst audition of her life”

Sara: “… he’s hot.”

Jen: “Yes.”

Sara: “And he’s single?”


Steve, rooting around in Meg’s purse: “Do you have anything I don’t want to see in here?”


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